Why good leaders master the art of listening
When it comes to leadership, effective communication fuelled by active listening is one of the most important areas to master. In fact, if we break it down we’d say ‘listening’ and ‘powerful questions’ are the most important tools for leaders. Yup, we’re calling it. Simple, but powerful.
So, as a leader, are you really listening? And we mean, really listening. Put on your honesty pants and let’s see.
Why listening matters
Empathetic or active listening allows you to develop and enhance relationships with a stronger understanding of what is being conveyed.
Takes conversations beyond the basics and into new territory
Creates space for evolving creativity and cultivating innovation
Helps reduce misunderstandings
Fosters trust and value for individuals by helping them feel completely heard and understood
The art of listening
When we explore the art of listening at CVL, we often model our conversations on Stephen Covey’s ‘Five Levels of Listening’. It’s a simple model that helps leaders understand the various types of listening. Empathetic listening is where transformation takes place.
First introduced in Stephen Covey’s (1989) Seven Habits of Highly Effective People book, the model outlines five levels of listening— Ignoring, Pretend, Selective, Attentive, and Empathetic.
1. Ignoring
I’m here, but I’m not listening.
Ignoring can be a good strategy in open plan offices to cut out the noise.
2. Pretend
I’m here and I’m smiling and nodding like I hear you, but in truth my mind is elsewhere.
This type of listening is common in large meetings or networking events or as part of small talk.
3. Selective
I hear you, but I’m only really listening for the parts that align with my own agenda.
This is where we hear what we want to hear, and often with selective listening you’ll have multiple parties talking over one and other to get their ideas in to the mix.
4. Attentive
I hear you and I’m also noticing your non-verbal communication. I’m working hard to understand the drivers for what you’re saying and how they align with my motivations so we can progress the conversation on common ground.
Effective conversations take place at level 4 listening however, it still comes from your own frame of reference
5. Empathetic
I hear you and I am in a complete space of curiosity, seeking to understand your point of view and your frame of reference.
Empathetic is when you step into the other person’s frame of reference and seek to truly understand what is going on for them without your own bias in action.
The Listening Continuum
Stepping in to the shoes of others
The first four levels of listening - ignoring, pretend, selective and attentive - are autobiographical responses. This means you are listening from your own frame of reference with a view to respond. In this space, your primary intention is to have the speaker finish so you can then express your own views or give advice. When you listen from your own frame of reference, you interpret what the speaker is saying through your own filters and views of the world and make judgements accordingly.
Alternatively, empathetic listening is when you step in to the shoes of others. You listen to hear (and view) the world from their shoes. Powerful questions help you explore their thoughts further, as you seek to understand their world.
What does it take for you to step into another person’s frame of reference and truly listen?
What might start to shift in your conversations, if you spend more time in empathetic listening?
Listen and seek to understand. This is where the magic is…
Empathetic listening is intentional. The people who develop this skill, listen to not only the other person's words, they listen for what the other person means. They are willing to give their time and full attention to really hear the other person. How you listen to your colleagues, team members and customers, will have a significant impact on your success as a leader.
Want the cheat sheet?
We’ve got one for you.
Download our ‘Dialogue Skills: Listening Continuum’ for a quick-guide reference.
To learn more about our leadership workshop series or coaching support with CVL, get in touch with us today.
